Life in General

Last Blog Post

At this point no one wants to hear about my semester in Europe.  I’ve already bragged about it enough to the people who spent 2010 in the States, and I’ve reminisced so much with the people I traveled with that bringing up studying abroad just makes us depressed.

I had a great time, time to move on.

I thought I’d be the last person to go through this “culture shock” phenomenon that was mentioned to us in our orientation meetings almost a year ago.  It was a little weird returning home the first week or so, but I figured everything would return to normal.  The weeks past, I was loving summer, as always, but nothing seemed “normal.”

I suppose this is because I haven’t felt normal this entire year.  I don’t really know what that word means anymore.  I think I might enjoy living a non-normal life.

This blog post wasn’t intended to be swan song at all.  In fact until about my last few hours in Europe I intended on writing a heartwarming article about how great everything has been and how great everything will continue to be and life will always be great.  Then I got the shit kicked out of me.

It was only fitting that my last night in Europe was spent in Rome.  After a hectic, yet fantastic, 20 days of traveling I returned home for one last night, eating at my favorite restaurant and seeing my favorite places. Most of my friends had already returned home so I had dinner with my last friend remaining in Rome, she then went home and I decided to spend my last few hours in Europe awake.  I could sleep on the plane.  I went to my favorite bar, alone.  I met a group of 10 or so kids who just got to Rome for the summer, they all went to Iowa State, and most of them were from Chicago. It was a quiet Monday night in Rome, as usual.  I remember the look on all their faces, as they expected a wild European dance club around every corner, but instead were in a half full bar that had very little craziness.  I remember feeling the exact same way our first day in Rome, as we wandered the streets aimlessly asking locals where the party was at that Sunday night

I showed the Iowa State kids around the rest of night, stopping at a number of bars and kebab shops before calling it a night after a Blackhawks Stanley Cup win at 4AM Rome time.  As I walked back to my hotel, about 2 miles away, I felt great.  I was content that I made the most of my semester, did things I never thought I’d do, and became a better person that I ever thought I would.  Honestly, most of that hour walk home was spent thinking about this blog post.

Then I got jumped by 2 umbrella men.  They beat me up fairly well, but didn’t manage to take anything I couldn’t live without.  I lost some money, I lost an ipod, and I lost a camera.  All were replaceable.  I had a constant headache for a week and the chip in my tooth and bumps in my lip may never heal, but in the grand scheme of things I really don’t care.

I write things down in my ipod constantly. Basically like a notepad, I write down anything I want to remember.  My favorite quotes, days, nights from abroad were in my ipod.  When it got stolen I lost those lists.  This post was going to talk about all those things, but I guess they’re best left for our memory.

This blog post is not to complain about my return to American society. It is to accurately describe how I am currently feeling.  On that walk home I imagined myself writing a sentence such as “I can’t accurately describe how I feel right now…” or something like that.  Something of that nature that only my 20 or so of my study abroad friends could relate to.  At that point I said fuck it; I am going to explain how I feel, with 100% accuracy, no matter how hard it is.

It took me all summer, but I know how I feel.

My Mondays and Tuesday are no longer spent explaining how crazy my weekends were.  My Wednesday’s no longer consist of planning what country I will fly to the next day.  I don’t see historical monuments 3000 years old on my walks home every day.  I’m not making new friends in random countries thousands of miles away from the school that we both discovered we share.

As a whole, my life feels much less significant this summer.

While abroad if I wasted a second of any day I felt guilty.  I woke up early; I stayed up late, and wasted no time in between.  I made the most of every second of every day – and loved doing so.

This summer I can’t say the same.  I’ve hung out with more friends than ever. I’ve fully experienced my favorite city in the world.  I’ve even had a job that enabled me to accomplish some of my childhood dreams.  Yet I still feel like I’ve lived a fairly unimportant past 3 months of my life. 

The hardest part of this for me to realize is that this is how the rest of my life is going to be.  For my entire life I’ve progressed in terms of intelligence, production and experience. I am still progressing in these traits, but at a slower rate than earlier this year.

That’s how I feel.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am incredibly happy.  I have loved this summer.  Going out and somewhat living, in Chicago has been a blast.  I’ve had fun every single day.  I’ve even had a job that lets me talk to professional athletes and spark national media controversy.

While you now know how I feel, that still doesn’t explain why I’ve decided to stop writing my thoughts on this blog.  It’s not because I’ve lived in a simpler society and think spending your time in front of a computer is a waste.

Well, it kind of is. 

A friend of mine said something early this summer that didn’t mean much to me at the time, but now is the reason I’ve decided to allocate my free time elsewhere. That is, at this point in my life, I have the right to be selfish.

I do enjoy letting my family and friends know what I’ve been up to.  But at this point in my life I should spend as little time in front of a computer screen as possible.  I’m going to spend the next portion of my life actually doing stuff, not writing about stuff.

My Wednesdays (and the other 6 days) are still spent what countries I want to travel to, and when I actually make these travel plans happen I’ll come back and let you know how it went.

Until then, thanks for reading, hope to see you soon.

Music for 2010

I used to write about music a lot.  I haven’t yet this year. I just wanted to get down what I’ve been listening to, and thinking while listening, in the past 8 months, before my next blog post.

Motion City Soundtrack started of my music year with their 4th CD.  It was as expected, a great CD from a great band.  I can count the number of bands who have released 4+ albums and I have been able to connect and enjoy every one on my hand, Motion City Soundtrack is one of them.

The main band I listened to in Europe was Houston Calls.  They had been on my “Listen To” playlist for over a year.  Sometimes you just run into music at the right place at the right time.  Had I started listening to Brand New when I was in 8th grade I probably wouldn’t have liked them.  But instead I started listening to them in High School, and the music was about going through High School.  It was just a stroke of luck that made me feel extremely close with the band as I felt the lyrics were written for my life.  Houston Calls was the same way.  I related with their music extremely well this past semester, they even had a song about going abroad.

In general I listened to way less music this year than usual.  That’s probably a good thing, as instead of listening to my ipod i’ve been talking with humans.  I think this is a beneficial thing for my personality. I guess time will tell.

Other music that has stood out this year: The xx - I didn’t like their album at all at first listen, but it has become the soundtrack to my mornings.  Something about their extremely slow, simple music wakes me up and puts me in a good mood every day.

The Gaslight Anthem - “American Slang” is my album of the year thus far, to me it’s what rock and roll should be these days.

Reflection Eternal - I’m not going to pretend I know a lot about hip hop, but this is my favorite hip hop CD that isn’t by someone named Kanye or Lupe in years.

My views on music haven’t changed much.  I still listen to the pop punk I grew up on.  My views are perhaps expanding though.  I listen to way more indie and hip hop than I did a year ago.  I don’t understand when people say their tastes have changed.  I can understand if you begin to like new music, but stating you no longer enjoy music you once did doesn’t make much sense to me from an artistic standpoint.

I really enjoying discussing music, but I know this isn’t the way I want to do it.

check my last.fm page for more info: http://www.last.fm/user/KyleCrowe10

White Sox at the Break & Other Thoughts

When I returned home from Europe about 6 weeks ago my family thought I was crazy when I wanted to watch the White Sox game during dinner.  Like most everyone else, they had given up on the team.  Clearly I’m biased when it comes to the Sox, but I didn’t think they were done yet.  Yes, on June 1st, when they were 8.5 games out of first and on pace to lose over 90 games, I was still interested in watching the Sox vs. Rangers game.

Of course, as I struggled with culture shock and writers block this article was tentatively titled “Assessing the Damage.”  Now, I’m finally getting around to writing this and the Sox are in 1st place for the first time all season and I look like a hypocrite.

I only watched 2 games in the first third of the Sox season; and they won both games decisively.  This undoubtedly played into my optimism, as I didn’t see the Sox lose a game until June. Like myself, the Sox had a rough first week of June, but since then they have been red hot.

I have the unique privilege of watching the Sox from many different aspects.  Most of which the average person is not able to experience.  Yes, I watch the majority of their games from my house, on TV. But I am able to watch some games at the Comcast Sports Net office, along with some of the brighter sports minds in Chicago, discussing most every play.  I am able to watch a few games from the press box, sharing opinions throughout the game with writers for the Trib and Sun Times, or reporters for various TV stations.  I am able to watch a few games from the camera well, right next to the dugout, enabling me to here some of the things the players say that only a handful of people in the world can also hear.  Most importantly I am able to talk with the players and coaches before and after a few games to get the real feel for the team and what they’re going through.

The first game I worked this season was arguably the lowest point of the Sox season.  They just lost 3-1 to the lowly Indians, dropping their record to 23-32, 9.5 games back of first.  After the game you could see the frustration in the players faces.  Jake Peavy knew he pitched well enough for a win, and was sick of losing.  Paul Konerko was embarrassed his offense could only muster a run against a sub par pitching staff.  Both players knew things had to change soon or names in the club house would change soon.  I tweeted after the game how depressing that club house was.

The next day I worked my 2nd game of the season.  This game started their turnaround (I want credit for this) as they had a comeback win against Cleveland and went on to win 25 out of their next 31 games.

Since then the mood has been increasingly brightening in the club house.  The music began to play louder after each win.  You could hear more enthusiasm in players voices.  Ozzie began talking to media for fun, sharing his own stories. 

I’m not simply writing this to brag, even though it may seem that way.  But I could see it in the players eyes after the agonizing defeat on my first day that they were better than their record indicated. I should have wrote that the night I got home from work.  But writing about the White Sox has not been high on my priority list since getting back to America.  It will be for the rest of summer.  I have the special ability to provide insightful information in a non regulated medium, not something very many people can do.

With the season about half over my hopes for the White Sox are more neutral than you’d guess.  They’re, at best, the 5th best team in the American League (Behind NY, Tampa, Boston and Texas).  I do think we will win the division, the competition is simply not very strong in the central.  If Kenny Williams can bring in another bat to an average lineup (that is, once Carlos Quentin regains the form of a normal human) my expectations might rise.  Still, if you can get to the MLB playoffs anything can happen, as October is pretty much an crap shoot.

Other Thoughts:

• The Cubs are a complete joke, most people know this.  But I’ve had a few arguments this summer about the Cubs future.  Some people think they will start to lose fans.  This will never happen.   Even if they lose some fans this year because a few smart ones realize who they’re rooting for, there will be a new batch of 21 year olds more than ready for their first Wrigley experience next year.  I might write a research paper sometime in my life on this, but the Cubs will never be successful as long as they play in Wrigley Field. Never.  Just to brighten the moods of Cubs fans, I heard this on the radio the other day: The past decade of Cubs baseball has been their most successful in the last 5, BY FAR.
• I can’t say much about LeBron that hasn’t been said yet.  But before this summer I was a fan of his, now I hate him with a passion.  One thing that I think gets overlooked is LeBron’s wisdom.  I doubt he did any homework past 5th grade.  He went to 0 days of college, who knows how many classes he paid attention to in high school.  I bet he has no idea what he did to the city of Cleveland.  He’s still a kid that wants to do the coolest possible thing.  This isn’t acceptable.  He’s in his mid 20s and just cost the city of Cleveland millions of dollars.  He deserves to feel the wrath for what he did.  Come fall he will, on every road game.
• I was really looking forward to the world cup.  Watching the US games were a great experience. I think Soccer in America is slowly getting more popular, it won’t happen over one tournament, but it’s making progress.  Still, after watching the final their are obvious limitations to the growth of the sport.  The flopping players and game controlling refs need to be eliminated (The NBA should do the same).
• I still think the Bears are going to be awful.  They suck at every position besides QB, RB, TE and DE.  Oh, and kicker.
• The Hawks will be fine.  Their core players are still in tact.  However, it may hurt that we no longer have any rappers on the team.

The 2010 FIFA World Cup: South Africa

I’m more excited for this particular World Cup than words can explain.  This past week I should’ve been studying for my final exams which are anything but simple, however something far more pertinent to my life has occupied my time.  To release some steam, (and because I love to rank random things) here are a couple of top 5’s for 2010.  

THE WINNER

I like to pride myself on my knowledge of the world game, and the rosters of almost every team.  I know the styles of most nations, and the star players of the important ones.  However, this knowledge is worthless in determining the winner of this year’s World cup.  Here’s my go at it.

5. Netherlands—Their all-out soccer is something to be admired.  10 men forward and 10 men back on every offensive possession and defensive stance.  My only question is : will this “ultimate” style of soccer last for 30 consistent days in the heat and altitude of South Africa this summer.

4. Argentina—Aside from Spain, the most offensively dominated squad of this year’s cup.  For Argentina it’s fairly simple:  Can they defend against the best strikers, and will Lionel Messi be able to relay his outlandish Barcelona form to Argentina.

3. England—One of their best squads in decades (make it 44 yrs to be exact) and they know it.  Critics like to point out the last 44 years of disappointment, but with talent like this, it’s gonna take a lot to screw it up

2. Spain—The best roster of the 2010 World Cup.  They lost to USA (nothing against the yanks).

1. Brazil—In my opinion the most brilliant style of football currently.  Add a little extra power to this year’s Brazilian squad in the form of Lucio, Fabiano, and Melo…and I just don’t see them losing.

GOLDEN BOOT

5. Wayne Rooney—Yup, I like Manchester United.  But that is irrelevant given the season Rooney just had with them.  He ended slow and injured which is why he’s not higher on this list, but if he finds form again, he will definately be competing for the boot.

4. Antonio Di Natale— I don’t think Italy has that strong of a squad this year, but Di Natale has been unreal in the last couple years, and not enough people are talking about him.  Of the last 4 years for Udinese he has scored 30 goals 3 times and 15 on the year he didn’t.  Italy has no other potential star, and alot will fall into the hands of this man.

3. Cristiano Ronaldo — Had an incredible season with Real Madrird.  He has as a knack for the goal like I’ve never seen before.  Add that to the fact that he might be the only gifted goal scorer on his team, and a couple penalties here and there.  The sum will be the highest goal total if Portugal make it to the quarters this year.

2. Lionel Messi — The quickest player ever.  Not a single defender in the game can keep up for a full 90 minutes.  If Messi can get a lot of touches on the ball, look for those touches to result in goals rather frequently.

1. Luis Fabiano (O Fabuloso) — I look at the Confederation Cup, his season with Sevilla, and the fact that he’s a member of Brazil to make this prediction.  Strikers with an ability to head the ball into the net (none are better than Fabiano *currently* ) are becoming increasingly more valuable.  He also has incredible strength on the ball, decent pace, and a rocket for a foot. 

2. Lionel Messi — I touched on it earlier.  Messi is the best

Friends

I always knew I was going to study abroad.  I liked traveling, I was bored of the Midwest, but most importantly I wanted to try as many new things as possible and studying abroad offered the best way for me to do so.  I went to Spain for vacation last year as a test run, to make sure Europe was the place for me.  I returned surer than ever that I would be spending 4 months in Europe the following year.  I was all set on studying in a small town in the south of France, when I looked back and thought about why I loved my visit to Spain so much.

            When Steve and I got to Spain we had 3 days alone in Madrid until we met up with our friend Dan in Granada.  I loved the city of Madrid, but without knowing anyone and speaking no Spanish we were essentially lost in the city the entire time we were there. Arriving in Granada was a breath of fresh air.  We could catch up with Dan as well as speak to the locals with his help.  Going out with his friends in Granada those few nights were a great time.  I thought it was the comfort and subtlety of a small town that I loved Granada for, but really, it was the people I was with.

            Realizing this I applied to the Rome program, because my good friends Robert and Katie were applying to the same program, and one of my best friends, Catherine was planning to study in Rome as well through Marquette.  I knew I’d be happy anywhere in Europe, and as long as I had these three friends I’d have a fantastic semester.

            I remember waiting in the airport to leave for Rome back in January with Rob andKaite.  I was ready to spend the majority of my semester with them and Catherine.  I knew if this was the case I’d be happy.

            3.5 months later and I’ve made some of the closest friends of my life.  When traveling every weekend you’re forced to make friendships.  Traveling brings out the best and worst in everybody, forced to cope with people for sleepless, smelly, countless nights in a hostel that too closely resembles a storage room has proved beneficial, as I feel I have made friendships that will last forever.

            I’m dangerously optimistic, to the point that I still think the White Sox will make the playoffs, and I can still pull off straight A’s, when realistically 3^rd place is the best they can do and a 3.5 GPA  is the best I can do, respectively.  I’m a firm believer that the future is brighter than the past, and that the glass is always half full.  However I’m struggling to cope with that fact that the past 4 months of my life will be the best of my life.  For the first time in my life I’m accepting the future is not as bright as the past.  With a few days left in Rome I’m filled with dozens of different emotions, but mostly fear.  I fear leaving this lifestyle that I’vefallen in love.  Fortunately I know everything will be okay.  I know this because of the friends I’ve made this semester.  All of us are feeling similar emotions, and luckily I know we’ll be there for each other to help manage our transition back to America.  When I’m around this new group of friends I can’t help but be enthusiastically ecstatic.  With all of us already planning concerts to go to reunite this summer and bar crawls for the fall I know the future is going to be not only okay, but very similar to the incredibly unbelievable past 4 months. Everyone I met this semester made it what it was.  However there were 15 specific people that made it truly special  I would like to personally thank the 15 individuals that made this semester everything I could have dreamed of and the best 4 months of my life (in alphabetical order, by last name):

·         Frank: I didn’t really understand you at the beginning of the semester, and I think I understand you even less now.  You changed your facebook name completely a few weeks into the program.  You pole dance on the tram consistently.  You drink way more than you think you can, yet still make it out nightly.  You are constantly looking for ways to stay in Europe longer, even if it means sleeping on some strangers couch. The only thing I’m sure of is that you’re incredibly fun to be around and I hope this continues past this semester.

·         Cbuns: You’ve been the one constant in my life for the past 2 years or so.  Regardless of what happens in either of our lives I know we can talk to each other about anything.  While I would have been happy with the friends from my program, having you in Rome with me added to the perfection of the semester.

·         Bre: First and foremost I don’t understand how you drink when it does the damage to your body the next morning.  With that said I never really felt hungover, as you appeared to always feel 10x worse than me the morning after a long night.  But it also taught me an attitude I carried with me all semester, which is, regardless of how much pain I might be in tomorrow I’m going to have fun tonight and live life in the moment, to the fullest.

 My first distinct memory of you is in Florence.  On the night you later claimed to have lost your social security card in a bar we were dancing when you screamed “catch me!” I answered no, you didn’t care as you leapt at me, and I dropped you, oops. The other memory that stands out in my mind was in London, as we were at a McDonalds one night, probably around 4AM.  We had drank a lot so we weren’t using out best judgment, but when a stranger said something offensive to one of our friends we were both very angry. Upon hearing his insult I tried to approach him, but was held back by you.  A few moments later you tried the same, and I held you back.  Nothing physical happened that night, yet the next morning we both regretted not doing something.  Since we both felt that way it’s ironic, or maybe just selfish, that we were both holding each other back.

·         Geegs: I don’t care what anyone says, I’m convinced we’re the best dancing partners in the world.  Countless nights spent at Coyote would prove this, as everyone else was clearly jealous.  In addition, we made excellent partners in Italian class, as I feel we were paired with each other time and time again, probably fate.  However, I’m never forgiving you for breaking Shelly.

·         Jake: One of my biggest worries going into this semester was that I wouldn’t have anyone to make fun of Sefer with.  You quickly solved this problem as you might enjoy annoying him more than me, which I didn’t know was possible.  The creation ofwww.twitter.com/fakersefer provided constant entertainment throughout the semester as we were repeatedly thinking of ways to poke fun at Bob. 

·         Lindsay: Whether it was our serious drunken conversations that I half remember, sit and reach contests, or drinking beer off your foot on a bridge at 3AM, we seemed to form a strong friendship early in the semester.  My two favorite memories of you are 1) on some random Monday night in the middle of nowhere you thought it’d be a good idea to start a coco crispy fight on my bed.  Needless to say this was an unforgettable night.  And 2) our day trip to Siena I also loved.  I didn’t understand your insistency to travel to the quaint town for a day, but I’m glad I tagged along as it was one of my favorite days of the semester.

·         Jen: You scared me on day 1, as you proclaimed our friendship as soon as we met.  But in reality, I’ve never been more appreciative of someone so nice and willing to accept me into their life as a friend than on our trip to Prague.  With nothing to do my 3^rd weekend in Rome you graciously invited me to join in on your girls’ weekend to Prague so I wouldn’t be left in Rome alone, we’ve been great friends ever since.  Aside from that you’ve taught me one of the most important lessons this semester, as when stressed out about something it’s simply not worth time worrying, as “the drama is too exhausting.”  I’m going to remember this not only for the semester but forever.

·         Mitch:  I quickly realized we partied at very similar rates.  I needed someone on this program that liked to have the same style of fun that I was accustomed to having.  You had a weird knack of sneaking in the most awkward or weird comment into any conversation.  To an innocent bystander it wouldn’t (or at least shouldn’t) appear funny, but once we got to know your sense of humor the awkwardness you created was hilarious.  Also, thanks for making me never feel tall this whole semester.  When most people would be somewhat embarrassed by standing out so often, you showed me to not care at all about what these Italians think of us.

·         Christine:  Your weird rants of random words that made no sense whatsoever repeatedly cracked me up.  Something involving machines/lizards/sex/experiencethis somehow was worked into our daily lingo.  It was also refreshing to spend a semester with someone who appreciates good food as much as I do. Steak.

·         Leah:  It’s hard to imagine someone rubbing off on me more.  After spending a few days with you and learning the ways of Betty I quickly began to adopt a similar speech pattern to you without trying.  Being out of control in public apparently rubbed off on me as Istoppedcaring what any Italians think of me and concentrated solely on having a good time.  I’ll forever remember your laugh that occurred during every Italian class, loud, obnoxious and unmerciful of the tutor next door, you always showed your true emotions.

·         Perrone: h8 you.  I think our trip to Brussels accurately describes our relationship from this past semester.  Over seeing museums and churches we traveled north hundreds of miles and paid hundreds of dollars to drink beers, many beers.  It was one of the best weekends of the semester.  It was necessary to have someone on this trip that took everything with a grain of salt and the most importantly just wanted to have fun.  I look forward to our beer dates.

·         Bob: Pretty much the sole reason I studied abroad in Rome.  I didn’t know much about the city, or Italy in general.  I knew as long as he was by my side I would enjoy my semester.  I knew right after our weekend in Florence with you navigating everybody around that all would go fairly smoothly this semester.  However, as one of new friends quickly pointed out this semester, Bob and I are pretty much exact opposites.  We agree on no issues and are constantly arguing.  For some reason we’ve been good friends for most of the past 18 years.  I wouldn’t expect that to change in the near or distant future.

·         Starr: You quickly taught me how to have a good time wherever you are.  Just close your eyes and dance; it was a fool proof method.  Whether it’s discussing our pooping schedules or biting each other’s toes we had an interesting, yet endlessly entertaining friendship from week 1 of the semester.  I knew our friendship was special when after I ignored your request to help you find your lost leather jacket one night, the next night you invited me over to eat your beloved mac ‘n cheese with you, thanks bet.

·         Sarah: You may have come to Rome to fall in love, but I came to Rome to juke, and with you as my partner.  We spent countless nights on the dance floor juking rather inappropriately.  On a more serious note, I wouldn’t have been able to get through our video project without you, you were a tremendous encouragement and help, we made a good team.  Still, I’m never forgiving you for taking advantage of me in Prague.

·         Stevens: Your enjoyment to create an awkward situation was fantastic, as I myself loveawkwardness, especially when Sefer was the victim.  I’m also voting your laugh as the best of the program, as I caught myself occasionally laughing in a high pitched girly tone, I didn’t hate it.  I would also like to thank you for the countless bowls of drunken popcorn you provided; afterhours wouldn’t have been the same without you.  Still, perhaps the funniest moment of the semester was you falling backwards down the stairs in your chair in class.